5 Ways to Stay Independent as a New Mom
So, you’re about to enter the wild, wonderful world of new motherhood, and you’ve probably heard all the advice: “Everything changes!” “You’ll never sleep again!” But —you don’t have to lose yourself in the process.
Becoming a mom is a huge life shift, but that doesn’t mean you have to put your personal identity or independence on the back burner. In fact, staying connected to your “old self” is one of the most important things you can do for your mental health, your well-being, and even for your baby. So, how can you maintain your independence and still be a rockstar mom? Let’s dive in!
In this episode, we will cover:
The top strategies for staying true to yourself while embracing motherhood.
Why setting boundaries is essential to maintaining your sense of independence as a new mom.
How building a support system can help you balance independence and motherhood.
1. Set Boundaries Early and Often
First up—boundaries. They’re not just for protecting your personal space; they’re for protecting your sanity. When you’re a new mom, everyone will have advice, ideas, and even unsolicited help to offer. You don’t have to say yes to everything.
Set clear boundaries from the start. Whether it’s asking for time alone with your baby, letting family know when you need a break, or simply setting limits on the amount of visitors you’re comfortable with in those first few weeks—boundaries will give you the space to feel like you again.
Pro Tip: Make a list of what you need in advance (like a “visitor schedule”) so you’re not scrambling when you’re exhausted.
2. Ask for Help (But Only When You Need It)
Independence doesn’t mean doing everything yourself. If you’ve got a partner, friends, or family members who can lend a hand, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Remember, you’re in charge of deciding when and what kind of help you need.
Sometimes, accepting support is the most independent thing you can do because it frees you up to keep your focus on the things that matter most. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or need time to recharge, ask for a break, a nap, or even a grocery run.
Quick Tip: Make a list of non-baby-related tasks that you need help with—whether it’s organizing, cooking, or just running errands. That way, when someone asks, you’re ready with a specific request.
3. Keep a “Me Time” Routine
I know what you’re thinking—"Me time?" What’s that? But hear me out: setting aside even just 15 minutes a day for yourself can be a game-changer. Whether it’s reading a book, taking a bubble bath, or simply going for a walk around the block, having time for yourself is an act of independence.
Being a mom is a full-time job, but you’re still a full-time person with needs and desires. Me time helps you stay grounded, recharge, and keep a sense of your individuality. Trust me—this is not selfish; it’s necessary.
Idea: Put your “me time” on the calendar like an appointment—no excuses. It’s your time to refresh, so you can be the best version of yourself for your family.
4. Keep Pursuing Your Passions (Even in Small Ways)
Whether you’re an aspiring writer, a fitness junkie, or a career-driven mom, staying connected to your passions can be a huge part of maintaining your independence. Sure, you might not be able to dedicate hours every day to your hobbies, but small steps can still keep you feeling fulfilled.
If you’ve got a project or interest you love, carve out time (even just a few minutes) to chip away at it. Maybe that’s writing one paragraph of your novel during nap time, reading a chapter of a book you’ve been dying to finish, or squeezing in a quick workout before the baby wakes up.
Pro Tip: Set small, achievable goals that don’t overwhelm you, and celebrate every victory—even if it’s just finishing one page of your book!
5. Stay Connected to Your Support System
One of the best ways to stay independent as a new mom is to have a solid support system in place. That means connecting with others who “get it”—whether that’s your partner, family members, friends, or an online mom group.
Make time to talk with other moms (like in a Facebook group, for example), share your experiences, or even just vent when you need to. Sometimes, knowing you’re not alone in this journey can be the key to keeping your head on straight.
But also—don’t lose touch with the people who make you feel like “you.” Get together with a friend for coffee, or have a regular call with someone who knows the “old you.”
The Bottom Line: Independence Is All About Balance
Becoming a new mom is amazing—but you don’t have to lose your independence or your identity in the process. By setting boundaries, asking for help, carving out me-time, and staying connected to your passions and your support system, you can balance motherhood with being your own person.
If you want a little extra support along the way, don’t forget to check out: The New Mom Blueprint: Taking Care of Your Well-Being, which has tons of practical tips to help you stay in control and feel confident as you navigate your life as a new mom.
featured blogs
Pregnancy and postpartum are seasons of immense change—physically, emotionally, and mentally. Between growing a baby, adjusting to new routines, and recovering from birth, it's easy to put your own well-being on the back burner. But here’s the thing: taking care of yourself isn’t just a luxury; it’s essential. Your nourishment—what you eat, how you hydrate, and even how you rest—directly impacts your recovery, energy levels, and overall well-being.
I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with Michelle LeBlanc, chef, mom of two, and doula, to talk all about nourishing your body during pregnancy and postpartum. If you’ve ever wondered how to fuel yourself in a way that supports your healing, your energy, and your mental health—without getting overwhelmed—this one’s for you.
Let’s break down what Michelle had to share so you can walk away with practical, manageable ways to nourish yourself during this transformative season.