3 Ways to Ask for Help During Postpartum (and Actually Get It)
Asking for help can bring up ALL the emotions. You may go from the extremes of feeling like a burden to feeling like you can do it all on your own. Many new moms struggle with this, but the good news is, there are ways to ask for help that ensure you get the support you need without feeling like you’re being too demanding. Let’s dive into how you can be assertive, clear, and respectful while getting the help you want.
What You Will Learn in This Blog Post
How to be assertive without being aggressive when asking for help
Clear scripts and tips for communicating your needs effectively
Strategies to balance your needs with others’ desire to bond with the baby
Strength in Asking
The postpartum period can be one of the most challenging times of your life. Between recovering from childbirth, adjusting to your new role as a mom, and dealing with sleepless nights, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Asking for help shows strength; it's essential for you and your baby's well-being. Here are three ways to ask for help and actually get it.
1. Be Assertive, Not Aggressive
It’s important to communicate your needs assertively without coming across as aggressive. Assertiveness means being clear and direct about what you need while respecting the other person’s feelings and willingness to help.
Script: “I really appreciate you coming over to help. I’m feeling quite tired and could use some help with [specific task, e.g., laundry, dishes]. It would mean a lot to me.”
Tip: Use “I” statements to express your needs without blaming or criticizing. This approach makes your request feel less like a demand and more like a genuine ask for support.
2. Be Clear and Specific
People often want to help but don’t know how. By being clear and specific about what you need, you make it easier for them to step in and assist.
Script: “Could you please help by [specific task, e.g., holding the baby for an hour while I take a nap, preparing a meal]? It would give me a much-needed break.”
Tip: Break down your needs into small, manageable tasks. Instead of saying, “I need help,” try, “I need help with folding the baby’s clothes.” This clarity ensures your helpers know exactly how to support you.
3. Balance Your Needs with Others’ Desire to See the Baby
Friends and family will be excited to see and hold the baby. It’s important to balance their enthusiasm with your need for practical help.
Script: “I know everyone is excited to see the baby, and we’re excited for that too. It would be really helpful if, while you’re here, you could also [specific task, e.g., bring some groceries, help tidy up]. That way, I can focus on resting and bonding with the baby.”
Tip: Frame your requests in a way that combines their desire to bond with the baby and your need for support. This way, they feel involved and helpful.
Don’t Do It All Alone
Asking for help during the postpartum period can be challenging, but it’s essential for your well-being. When a mom feels cared for, she is better able to care for her baby. By being assertive, clear, and respectful, you can ensure you get the support you need while also allowing friends and family to enjoy precious moments with your baby.
Remember, you don’t have to do it all alone. Share this blog with a mama-to-be or a new mom who might benefit from these tips.
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